Mumblings of a Muddled Mind

I like to write about what matters to me and to raise awareness for mental health. I suffer from mental illness but that does not define who I am.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Hurts..Why I have been Absent..

I have not been posting as of late due to not feeling well. Last week I was in emergency three different times. On Tuesday I got sent home with instructions on how to get better and a bottle of Lactulose. It is a laxative. Basically I was superbly bunged up and not able to "release the hounds" on my own. I know, lovely eh?

The crap didn't do diddly squat so now in much more pain, I went to emerg here in my small town yet again the next day. This time they took an x-ray, told me in doctor-speak that I was full of shit (like I didn't know this already..haha) and sent me home with more meds; meds I didn't even need. I sufferd through the pain until Friday when I could no longer handle it and not to mention I had an MRI at a hospital in the city at 4:30pm that day and was not able to lay flat on my back to do so.

I went into emerg and they took another x-ray, told me once again I was full of shit, literally, and pumped my full of painkillers via IV so I could make my MRI which was for my sciatic nerve pain in my hip. Speaking of which, that is what started this all, or made complications worse. It was the percocets I was taking that had made it impossible for me to go. Couple that with my IBS, the fact that I wasn't eating right because I was in an "I hate my body and so therefor I hate food and wont eat much" disposition and blamo, you have a recipe for disaster and a LOT of pain.

After my MRI they sent me back to the emerg department to fix my problem. Not going to get into how. The evil part about this is that I was told by the hospital here in town that due to the fact that they don't have any good diagnostic equipment, I should go into the city if I didn't get the answer that I needed. Well, retards, they gave my the SAME DAMN TEST there too, and they seemed to think it serious enough to fix it for me. AHHHH.

I have been gradually getting much better and I am no longer bunged. I never thought it would be such a joy to go to the bathroom on my own but hey, you learn something new every day. So, to sum it up, I really hope that I never have anything more serious and have to go into the hospital here in town again because they seem to like to send you home with copious amounts of medications instead of trying to help you.

Due to the fact that I can't take the percocets for the pain, my hip is bothering my more so now and my TMJ (which I have a CT scheduled for) is acting up like crazy. I figure it's because of the amount of pain I was in so therefor I was clenching my jaw a lot. It could also be because I was on anti-anxiety meds but have now been off them for good for a while now. Supposedly they help with TMJ too. Basically, I am falling apart.

I spent a few nights crying myself to sleep because I was fed up with all of this and I just want to feel healthy again.

I need to get back into swimming for exercise. Seems to me that it would be the least painful way to go about getting more fit at this time.
I also have a Physio appointment set up for my TMJ to learn how to deal with it when it gets really bad.


  1. I am glad you pooped!

  2. Andie,
    So glad you posted. I was starting to worry.

    I am so very sorry to hear that you have been having such a hard time. I hope you are on the mend now.

    Sending love,


  3. BWahah Thanks Sage! :D heh me too. :P

    SB..aww thanks for thinking of me! I am definitely on the mend now! :D

  4. lol @ sage

    i think this whole living in the country thing is real shitty.. you should move back here..

    heh.. shitty..

  5. lol@ Sage x2!

    I know how hard it is to feel sick. :( Sometimes it feels no one understands, but I'm always pulling for you. Hope you're feeling better! <3